23 April 2020

THOUGHTS ON CHOOSING FEAR


^^ Image by Hello I'm Nic on Unsplash ^^

Whilst reading The Artists Way this week, I stumbled across a quote that I found really resonated with me and thought I would share it with you and some thoughts around what it brought up for me. The quote is '...in choosing, that which we often resist is what we most need'. How lovely is that, and how very true it is too.

It spoke to me because, where I am in life is about big changes and big commitments; it's a time for leveling up and realising potential in things that I can do and opportunities I can leap in to. It would be easier to think 'oh well, we are in lock down, so I may as well stand still (metaphorically of course) and not bother until all this is over', but I feel the opposite way. I feel like this is a time to thrive. It goes without saying that I only talk about my own wants and needs here and in no way push my thoughts onto you (you do you of course!). There are far too many 'survive the lock down' tips online already, so go with what feels good to you. For many what feels good right now is a rest, and I totally get that!

I digress...

For years and years I have taken the easier path. The one that involved heaps and heaps of research, lots of dreaming and wishing too, but never a proper leap of faith into the path I longed to take. Why? Well, the doing of the thing is bloody difficult. It challenges you in ways that you never thought possible. You spend most of your time wanting to cry or give up (both actually!).

My first attempt of 'leaping into fear' as I call it, was actually launching Leaf Lane Studio back in September 2017. That was a mini leap now that I look back, although it seemed like everything at the time. I remember Gemma (my amazing coach at that time) telling me that launching was the very tip of the experience and that the rest was where the work was, but I don't think I looked much further ahead because it felt like so much to me to just launch the thing!

On reflection, a couple of years on, things in my mindset have made another shift. 

As I venture into more coaching, this time with a group of amazing individuals who are all business owners, led by Holly from 'A Branch of Holly', I feel completely different. My confidence to take on this next step is huge, my motivation is totally sparked and I am ready for the hard times to come, because there will be hard times. 

Here's what has shifted though:
Years ago, any feelings of fear would have sent me running in the opposite direction, back to a point of safety and familiarity (hence I was only dreaming of working for myself over actually doing it). I did all the planning and note taking but didn't do the doing of it! Fear was scary and why would I want to put myself through it.

With experience, and no doubt age, I now push towards fear. As the quote says, that which we often resist is what we most need, and I truly believe that. We feel fear because something is new, because we don't know ourselves in that specific environment, because we can't control what we don't know. Those things are usually enough to send us packing. But if you allow yourself to lean into fear, to question it and think about it more, you will probably realise that you really want what is on the other side of it.

That is where I am now. I know I can achieve so much more in my life and in my business, but I have been comfortable, I have returned to familiarity for many reasons, but I am now ready to make that shift again. With that shift comes fear, but this time I am excited by it and experienced enough to know that it will bring times where I want to give in. I know this because I have felt this before. The trick is the pushing past the hurdles, which is why this new group I am part of is so good for me.

All of the people who are successful in whatever the field is you are interested in will tell you that they have had to go wading into their fear to get to where they are. Most things are not as scary as you imagine once you start them. That much I do know!

What are you wanting to do right now that is bringing up fear for you? Is it stopping you achieving something? If you feel like it, chat with me in the comments about it - let's help each other!
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1 comment

  1. I am so proud of you for taking these leaps my love, I just know amazing things are coming your way. Sending lots of love xxxx

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