14 January 2020

A DIFFERENT VISION


^^ The gorgeous Poldhu, where the greatest hot chocolates ever live! ^^

(Belated) Happy New Year! This post was meant to be going up a whole lot earlier but I haven't been too well, so forgive me! As late as it is to say this, I hope you had a beautiful Christmas, indulged in all the good stuff and napped for the Olympics! I certainly did the indulging part! When New Years Eve came around though, I felt totally different to all the years that have come before; I didn't feel low or sad for January, but rather shockingly (for me!) I felt relief and excited. I felt almost like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I learned so damn much about myself in 2019 and felt like stepping into 2020 was like a fresh page in a new notebook that I desperately wanted to get scribbling on, rather than staring at it, not knowing what to write.

I am stealing the rest of this post, well the prompts anyway, from an episode of Lori Harder's Earn Your Happy podcast, called 'Start, stop, face and embrace in 2020'. The prompts I am stealing are in the title, 'Start, stop, face and embrace', and I want you to think about these with me as you read through mine, because I think it is a quick fire route into your heart for the new year ahead.

I reflected super deep all on lots of things all of last year, really going to the guts of my mind, mostly when I really didn't want to, and found I was getting super pissed off with what I was finding. Why? Well, because I was truly seeing myself, and super clearly for the first time in ages. I feel like 2019 was the year the universe thought 'right, let's make this a year of removing all the false beliefs this woman has left in her head... let's strip this back and make her see what needs doing'.

I mentioned my 'funk' so many times on social media and in my studio vlogs (latest one linked below by the way!) and I was driving myself crazy. I would find myself sitting on the bed, lost in thoughts and dreams of the life I wanted to live, but at the time I was unable to see that the sitting there was procrastination at its finest, and I was actually self-sabotaging my own future.

I am making it sound so dramatic, but I don't feel that way about it, not now anyway. So, before I say anymore, let's jump into the prompts and dig a little deeper; if you decide to do this, just grab some paper and jot down your thoughts and feelings under each title. Let me know in the comments what came through for you once you're done.

^^ Gizmo has one New Years resolution - more sleep! ^^

^^ My January drawing-a-day project is in full swing ^^

S T A R T
This year is the year I stick to my lists and my planner more and actually follow through with my goals. Previous goals have always been planned, written out and then filed away under 'some day', but this year I am trying something a little different. I will be pulling out one or two short term to medium to goals per calendar month (two months if it is something bigger) and then writing out sub 'to-do's' in order for me to work towards them. For January it is to release the new Leaf Lane Studio wedding stationery collection I have been sitting on for six months and to continue work on my website redesign. I think that the website release will be happening in February now, as I have lost some time with being unwell.

Other things I would like to start doing this year are things like trying to attending at least one networking event; I am quite shy about these and get impostor syndrome in a big way just thinking about going to an event, but this is never going to get better unless I face this head on!

2020 is also a year of deciding what I want to do with this blog and how to make it work for me in a better way. I have been blogging for many years now and I feel like I definitely want to carry on, but I am ready to shift gears to something a little different; this may look like a shift to a different platform and a new approach to what I write about, but that will come in time, I am certainly not going to force anything.

This is also the year that I START: getting outside much, much more / visiting more places in Cornwall / making more time to drive and visit friends and family / have more faith in my own ability to succeed / wear more of my clothes (rather than living in the same stuff because I work from home) / looking after my body better in every way.
^^ Watching dogs on the beach is a favourite past time ^^
S T O P
The one thing I want to try to stop this year is saying 'yes' to things that may not fit who I am or what my business is about (if it is a business related thing of course). I have learned a lot during the short time I have been in business and I am now able to see with a more clear vision what is right for me and what isn't. I have learned that taking on the wrong things cause me huge anxiety and feel constantly difficult to work on, so that is the biggest 'stop' for me this year. Turning down projects, especially when you need cash in your pocket, is not easy, but by taking on the wrong thing you block the way for the right thing, so I am trying to remember that!

F A C E
I kind of touched on this earlier, but my thing to face up to this year is that I can be super easily distracted by things I shouldn't be focusing my time on. I want to be sticking a lot more rigidly to my daily 'to-do' list and really focus in on my 'why' for the business.

Another thing, which is a 'continue' for me, is my relationship with food. I have got so much better with it, but I am still reprogramming my brain to stop using it as a comfort for happiness/sadness/everything! It is hard, it really is, but it is a life-long project for me I think.

^^ Another shot from the walk at Poldhu; such a beautiful beach ^^

E M B R A C E
The answer to the 'embrace' section is 'my mood'. I recently wrote a blog post about coming off of my anti-depressant medication and I am still trying to work out what I am doing with that. For the time being I want to fully embrace everything I am feeling in terms of adjusting to the medication free Lucy. It isn't a comfortable feeling at all; I am definitely going through some struggles and it all has an impact on my business and my general motivation, but I am working with it and am trying my best each and every day.

At the moment I am craving sunlight, which there has basically been none of recently, which I know plays a huge part in why I feel lower, so I am going to let spring time appear and then make a decision. Embracing who I am, off the medication, is one of the most challenging things, but it is also very necessary to try it, so I am trying it. Fear creeps in daily, but I am meditating in the mornings and journaling when I can, which I find very uplifting, so I will just keep pushing forward and see what happens!

There you have it, those are the most important things in my mind for this year. Let me know how you get on if you try the prompts!

I am working on a new Studio Vlog right now, but in the mean time, have a little look at this latest one and please do click through to YouTube to 'like' and 'subscribe' if you feel like you want to see more, because it honestly really helps my channel grow. Click right here to subscribe!

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