7 July 2019


In every situation, you have the power to decide to stay or walk away, to carry on reading the book you are reading or to set it aside, to take the risk or to stay in safety. You have the power to change your life, from the tiny details to the bigger dreams, it is in your hands.

This, rather intense subject, came up for me recently when I was at work, where I am pretty much alone for four hours cleaning in silence, so things tend to surface and run away with themselves (which sometimes is awesome and other times is really bad!). On this occasion I was intrigued by how the thoughts unfolded. I started to consider how many situations I have really battled with, even though they felt 'off', how many times I have made myself stick with something because I was worried about the opinions of those around me, or how many hours I have spent absorbing information that is just a total waste of time.

The universe had my back with this thought though, because a day later, I was listening to one of my absolute favourite podcasts, Earn Your Happy, by Lori Harder, when she began talking about how we need to decide daily, whether something makes us 'expand' or 'contract' when we are within it. When I heard her talking about this, I sat up and took notice because it really hit the nail on the head and resonated with all the things I had been thinking about. 

Asking ourselves whether something makes us expand or contract works for anything, from the meals we are choosing, to friendships we surround ourselves with. It is so easy to brush things under the carpet and just get along with things, even if they don't really add anything to our lives. As I have got older, I have become very aware of what takes my energy away and what builds it, and now I have had that realisation in my life, nothing can stop me noticing it.

For example, when you are with a friend who lights you up, makes you laugh, has your back through everything and will also tell you when you are being a total idiot, that is utter expansion. Within expansion you should feel better for that person or situation being around you, you should feel more alive, it should flow and become part of who you are seamlessly.

With contraction we feel pullback, resistance, doubt, fear, negativity and not like we are growing into a more fulfilled human being. We feel uneasy in contraction, and like we are being held back from who we are. We have all experienced this, probably daily if we think about all the small things that happen, and that is totally normal, but what I am saying is to be a bit more mindful of these things and, as Lori says in episode 390, ask yourself the question 'does this {insert situation here} make me expand or contract', and just see what shows up.

We shouldn't be wasting time with people who restrict us, who clip our wings and fight to bring us down to where they are in their lives at that given moment. Instead, what we do need is a team who lifts us up, even on our darkest days, tells us we can do it and reminds us that every cloud has a silver lining. These people are the ones who encourage us to expand into the better versions of us; they are 'the keepers' and the ones worth having around.

So, audit your life, see what fits into which category (write a list if you need to!), and see how you feel when you look at it; be super honest with yourself and don't beat yourself up about it. You need to refill your energy tank with all the good things; the music that you love, the books that inspire you and open up your heart, the people that you are excited to be around, and the food that your body is nourished by. There is no right or wrong answer here, and only you can make the choices of whether or not something is worth keeping in your life.

Resonate with this? Pop a comment down below and let me know your thoughts on it!

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