3 April 2019


I wanted to spend a bit of time talking to you about how important it is to really lean into fear, emotions and overwhelm sometimes. Last week was one of the most challenging weeks I have had for a while and, although I usually share a lot with you guys, I am not ready to share everything that went on in my world last week, but now that I am safely on the other side of things and have had time to reflect, I can see why things had to happen the way they did and have a greater understanding of why I needed to have that 'moment' last week.

One of the biggest, most significant shifts I have made more recently, is to try to allow any emotions I am feeling the space to come out, and not stuff them down until I can barely breathe. This is not easy, and it is super exhausting to go through, but when you allow it, beautiful things can happen.

Anyone can have a good cry, shout or whatever it is that we do to release the pent up emotions we hold inside, but what I really mean by giving them 'space' is to not only let them out halfheartedly,  but to really let them out; sob until you have to bathe your eyes open, scream into a cushion (if that's your thing... personally I'm a crier!) and, when you are done, and probably totally exhausted, that is when the magic starts to happen.

PS: It won't feel like magic at first...

Tuesday was the day that I totally fell apart last week. I felt like a broken human; nothing could stop the tears flowing except when I could barely breathe anymore and had to keep splashing cold water on my face again and again to stop the swelling in my eyes. Those things distracted me for long enough to stop the crazy overflow of tears, which only started again as soon as I went back to my desk to try and work (no work happened).

What started off as a few tears over a little bit of stress/worry, spiraled so fast and, before I knew it, I had hit rock bottom and life was a total mess. I felt frightened, overwhelmed by everything life had to offer and my brain chose that time to fire up my ego into 'attack' mode. Add to the mix a poor limping Gizmo who had somehow suddenly hurt her leg and I was a disaster (animals will always make me cry anyway!).

(This may not sound like much guys but, take my word for it when I tell you that I am giving you a very 'airbrushed' version of events).

That evening though, as I sat bathing my eyes open and feeding my dinner to Gizmo (she had a great time), I had this total feeling of calm wash over me. Partly it was utter exhaustion of course, but also it was very much about needing to let everything out. I sat for a while just taking in all the things that had happened that day; all the crazy thoughts and irrational fears and I let myself realise that I had just come through a really terrible day and I was proud of myself for it, which may sound silly to you, but it was so hard but I had made it out the other side.

The biggest thing I try to remember on the real crisis type of days, is that it can only get better, so hanging on, even by the thinnest thread, is what I focus on. What feels like the scariest, loneliest moment, can become your biggest victory and most joyful lesson, despite the pain.

All it takes is honest reflection.

Some times there are things that we need to learn about ourselves or our lives that are so hard to face that it is easier to bury our heads in the sand and just carry on glazing over them, but how can we ever move forward if that is what we continue to do all the time? We really have to face things head on; seek help, talk to someone, journal our feelings, meditate - just do anything positive!

Yes it hurts like hell, it really does, but it is so worth it for the personal growth alone. You may spend a week recovering from it (and using litres of concealer to cover the red, swollen eyes) but my goodness, you will be so much better off for it.

Facing fear is brave, it is full of surprises too. Don't let your ego tell you stories of how things may turn out either, because that ego of ours talks utter sh*t, it really does. If you are feeling fear or overwhelm then face it head on so that the next time you feel it you will be that little bit stronger!

Here are my top three pieces of advice for facing fear...

1. Ask yourself what it is you are afraid of and then assess whether what you are thinking is a story you have constructed out of the fear, rather than a fact that will definitely happen. In other words, be rational!

2. Chances are that if you are fearful of something it is because you are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in some way. This is a good thing, so do it.

3. It doesn't matter how hard something feels at the time, or how desperate you feel in the moment, it will get easier. If you are in full fear and overwhelm together, give yourself a moment, don't act in the full emotion of it all. Take some time, if you need it, to reflect.

Don't forget to reach out for help too; we all need a friendly ear or shoulder to cry on. But most importantly remember this: you are amazing, you can do anything, and when you feel at your worst, it is just a moment in the bigger picture of your life, so let it pass, let it teach you what it is meant to and then let it go. Become a better person for it, then you win and it loses!

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