10 March 2019


^^ I am taking part in the March Meet the Maker challenge on my Leaf Lane Studio Insta, this is from the prompt 'less glam side' - my forever messy desk! ^^

Welcome back to another 'Weekly Gratitude' list (are you guys bored of these?!). I really like having something I can look back on that sort of summarises the week gone by and helps me to jog my memory when, months or years down the line, I have a little mooch back through old posts, just to see whether I have got more interesting (usually not!).

Are you as in shock as I am that we are already ten whole days into March? I really don't know how much faster life can speed up! This week has been full of the most extreme ups and downs I have ever experienced in my life; if you didn't read Wednesdays blog post then maybe check it out to get a bit of a grasp on what has been happening. The good news is that things have settled down again a bit; I have an appointment in a couple of weeks for continued help and my medication has been upped a little to help me to get over the worst of it. 

I said on Insta-stories this week how much I get infuriated with having a mental health issue, because I truly love life. I get so excited when I am being creative, or when a new idea strikes me and I am fully 'in it' and inspired to my core for a new project. I work so very hard to stay upbeat, but sometimes it does catch up with me and I am not scared to share that with you guys.

Many people ask me why I share so much (believe me, I only share about 50% of what is actually happening) and my answer to those people is this: because I want to help other sufferers understand that they are not on their own. Because I know, really know, that in the middle of it all you feel like you have no body at all (even though logically know you do). I had a few messages on the back of Wednesdays post, and some from my Instagram story, that shared peoples deepest, most private thoughts. I totally acknowledge that, for them to send those messages must have been hard; to open up to someone is always hard, but by sharing my story as it unfolds, I hope that I am more approachable and people see that I won't judge them (never ever).

One message really struck me; it was from the partner of someone who had said that their other half was feeling extremely low, at times suicidal, and couldn't find the words to express the feelings. Since reading some of my posts they have managed to open up more and articulate their feelings more, which has helped a lot. Those are the reasons why I do it, those are the people who I want to help. I am no expert, apart from simply speaking of my own experiences, but I want to do my bit.

Right, now I have got that off my chest... let's move into this weeks gratitude list! (PS: I have linked last weeks vlog at the end of this post in-case you missed it and my latest one below for you too, please head to YouTube to subscribe to my channel!).

:: I am going to stick to the mental health theme for one more thing! On IG this week I asked your opinions on whether you would buy a pin that was raising money for a mental health charity. Lots of you messaged me back saying 'yes' and I am so happy you think it is a good idea! For those that missed the story, what I am hoping to do is design a simple enamel pin which has some kind of uplifting message on it; it won't shout out 'I am a pin for mental health', but will be sold to raise money for a charity. I will only take back the money paid out to buy the pins and will make the whole process transparent for you guys to see, so you know where the money is going etc. I look forward to getting started on designing it and getting it out there!

:: This week I finally finished reading 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle* and am now thoroughly into reading 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho*, which I am really loving. It is described as a '...simple fable, based on simple truths' where the character meets unassuming spiritual messengers along his journey. When I read a brief synopsis on this book I loved a quote from it, which takes place when the character meets the alchemist and is told '...tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself', how beautiful, and true, is that? 

:: Whilst painting this week I have been listening to a variety of Ted Talks and loved this one by Beverly Willett, which is called 'How to Begin Again'. Some times you hear things that touch your very soul at just the time you need them.

^^ Look at all the cuteness of this little bear, bloody hell I love her so much! ^^

:: I've been so busy recently that I haven't really had time to stop for a second, so on Thursday, when I had dropped back all the boxes I had finished sticking and got back home, I hit a metaphorical wall and made the mistake of laying on the bed 'for a minute'. Two hours later I woke up, with little Gizmo snuggled up against me, her paw holding one of my fingers. I do love that bear so much!

:: This week I have been starting to get my head around some of the new things I want to release for Leaf Lane Studio (did you see the new cards that came out... click the 'my products' tab on this blog to have a look!). I have been sketching out ideas for planner stickers, tear-off note books and a few other things. I am also going to be releasing some new printable art pieces soon. possibly including a version of the quote I sketched in my Bullet Journal this month (see below!).

:: I am really enjoying seeing so many buds appearing on the trees and plants again; the bigger tree we have in the garden, where the bird feeders hang, is starting to show signs of life and that makes me so happy to watch. The birds are getting more and more active too, picking up twigs and things that are far too large for them to carry but somehow managing to get them to their nests anyway! Determined little buggers!

:: I can't really mention this properly, but the person involved will know who they are. In the depth of my despair this week I got the best news ever! It made me SO happy and lifted the grey cloud so much! Sorry to be mysterious but, when the time comes I will share it, for now though this is just a cryptic message over the tinterwebs!

:: Peta and I had a rather impromptu cat mum 'meeting' this week (it wasn't a meeting at all, just a FaceTime!), which was lovely and just what the doctor ordered following my crappy morning and actual doctors appointment. It was nice to have a giggle, although I felt sorry for Peta as I looked rather scrappy! What was meant to be a quick catch up, turned into almost two hours of chatting about cats, podcasts and a million other life admin things! It was very much appreciated though. As a side note, Peta has just posted this instagram post too, which made me tear up with all the feelings - thank you lovely lady xx

:: I have just remembered something very important that I have meant to mention for a couple of weeks but somehow keep forgetting. This is all Peta's fault, but it is amazing, so I am passing it on just in case any of you guys need a laugh! Apparently this is a big thing, but I had never heard of it until a couple of weeks ago; there is a podcast out there called 'My Dad Wrote a Porno' (wait, it gets better). It is literally how it sounds; the basis of the podcast is Jamie Morton, the ever suffering son of the author, 'Rocky Flintstone' (what a pen-name huh!), sits and reads a chapter from his dads 'erotic fiction' every week, with two of his friends for company. They dissect everything 'Rocky' has written and it is literally the funniest thing I have ever listened to. It should be prescribed on the NHS for two reasons 1) happiness therapy and 2) contraception (it is the least sexy thing you will ever hear!). Check it out; there are four books that they read on the podcast, I am on book two now and it really doesn't get any better - but it is very, very funny! Poor guy, just imagine that family Christmas! Totally recommend this for the laughter alone (if you're hoping for actual erotic fiction though, go somewhere else!).

That is going to be all for this week but please remember to pop back on Wednesday for another post and come and follow along on Instagram, which is definitely where I hang out the most! I am off to defrost the freezer now, rock n roll Sundays are totally a thing in this house!

* Amazon affiliate link, if you use this link to purchase the products mentioned I receive a very small amount from Amazon (you do not pay more for the product).


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