12 December 2018

FAVOURITE WORDS OF WISDOM



Recently, whilst having a look for content inspiration online, I found a 30 day writing challenge on Pinterest that I really liked the look of. Although I definitely wouldn't use it as a 30 day challenge I really liked some of the prompts to use for my own personal journaling and maybe even for blog post inspiration from time to time.

One of the prompts was about a quote or saying that has made you stop in your tracks and really reflect on something in your life and, as someone who loves a good quote, this is quite a difficult one to pick out, but one I have written in this months Bullet Journal is the one above...

'It's not who you are that holds you back, it is who you think you are not.'

When I read this for the first time it made me think about so many things because I can literally relate this quote to every area of my life that I think needs improving. Here are some of the examples of the voice in my head that holds me back... can you relate?

'You are not doing as well as (insert name of someone you admire here) because you are not as good as them.' / 'If only you could lose weight your life would be better.' / 'I bet (enter appropriate name here) doesn't want to take a nap at two o'clock in the afternoon, that is why they are more successful than you.' / 'You can't wear that! You aren't the kind of woman who suits something like that, just put your old clothes back on and forget it!'

Okay, so these are kind of basic examples because it is hard to think of an example when you need one isn't it? But these are things that I am sure a lot of us think about in some shape or form, so let's quickly break them down and hit ourselves over the head with a dose of reality shall we? Here we go then...

Ridiculous case study #1

'You are not doing as well as (insert name of someone you admire here) because you are not as good as them.' - I think it is safe to say that we have all had these thoughts but what makes it so silly is that the people who you put in the brackets there also have these thoughts about people they look up to and so on and so forth. Bringing another favourite quote into a post about favourite quotes, there is that one that says something along the lines of '...don't compare your chapter one to someone elses chapter twenty' and this one is also a good'un because it is so very true isn't it? Take my business as an example; it has only been running just over a year and so to compare it to one that has been going for ten years is crazy (yet I do it). Getting too stuck in thoughts like this is what makes you feel inadequate and can stop you moving forward in life, so whilst we all will still have these comparison syndrome thoughts, it is important to remember where you are at in your journey. 

Ridiculous case study #2

'If only you could lose weight your life would be better.' - This is a classic 'who we think we are not' moment isn't it; the feelings of 'when I lose a stone I will do that' or 'people will like me better when I am slimmer'. As much as this has, and still continues to be, a thought I have, it is getting easier the older I get, but it is as my chosen quote says 'It's not who you are that holds you back, it is who you think you are not.' We choose to think we are not good enough as we are right now, we decide that people judge us negatively because of the way we think we look now. If you really consider it, does anyone actually care? Not really. If they do care then they can jog on because your outer self is not your whole self, but I pretty much guarantee that you are the only one judging you that way. By thinking you are not worthy, not slim enough or not 'whatever-the-hell-it-is' enough, you are holding yourself back. I am not saying we shouldn't have goals or should just think 'screw it', quit the gym, and gobble our way through the Tescos chocolate aisle, but what I am trying to say (and get my own head around) is that we need to be at peace with where we are at right this second whilst aiming for our goals because, after all, every version of us is still 'us' isn't it.

Ridiculous case study #3

'I bet (enter appropriate name here) doesn't want to take a nap at two o'clock in the afternoon, that is why they are more successful than you.'  - I am one of those 'tired' people, no matter how much sleep I have had the night before I will still be tired, that is just the way the cookie crumbles and so, when I am getting up at 5.30am to get my tired butt to the gym four days a week, I tend to hit a wall in the afternoon where I need to sleep for a bit. If I fight it, chances are I won't be very productive and the rest of the work I create that day will be pretty weak. Okay, I have the advantage of designing my schedule for myself, and that is great, but I still feel guilty if I take a half an hour nap. I am working on thinking to myself 'this is who I am and this is what I need' because I know my own body and I know my mental health benefits from taking a little sleep. I feel rejuvenated and ready to go post-nap, which can't be a bad thing. It's funny how we don't imagine that other, successful people we look up to may just have habits that they feel bad about too. We always picture them in this bubble of perfection don't we! Maybe they (whoever 'they' are) don't take a nap but maybe they stop working at 4, just when I am revving up again! Who knows, but whatever it is, and whoever it is, it's okay being done that way. 

Ridiculous case study #4

'You can't wear that! You aren't the kind of woman who suits something like that, just put your old clothes back on and forget it!' - I am getting much more carefree in my late thirties, but this sometimes creeps in and it is silly really. Thinking you are not good enough or tall enough (etc) to wear a certain thing is truly insane; if you like it, rock it! Don't be held back by what you think everyone else is doing or wearing or perhaps how old you are and whether you will fit in, just bloody go for it and enjoy it, release yourself from the rules and be free with it. In my case that may be a fluffy sock related decision rather than something too fashion-orientated, but still, each to their own huh?


'It's not who you are that holds you back, it is who you think you are not.'


Reflect on this one more time and ask yourself 'who do I think I am not', what comes up for you when you think this and how can you change it? Maybe it's 'I'm not the kind of person who can start my own business' - yes you are! You totally are and you can be amazing at it, don't hold yourself back by thinking you're not that person. Maybe it's 'I'm not able to go to the dance class I want to go to because I feel I don't know anything' - how are you going to know anything unless you go? You are totally the type of person to start this new, fun class, so just go and see what an impact it has on you.

You get it right! 
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