17 September 2014

Things that I have learnt in my 30's

Other than the fact that I hear myself saying things to kids at school that my mum once said to me when I was their age (oh dear), my 30's have, so far, been the greatest period of time in my life. I am quite a positive person and believe that there is no point in thinking 'I wish I could be in my 20's again'. Instead, I'd rather believe that as I progress through my life I am constantly picking up more experience, more skills and generally learning more about myself, equaling a happier, more fulfilled existence. It is for that reason that adding one number to my age every 365 days doesn't really bother me at all (let's re-visit this in another 30 years though!).

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I decided to write this post after over-hearing some older students in the school I work in talking about all their problems. I wanted to swoop in and be all 'mum' about their situations but resisted the urge for fear of her appearing in front of me, wagging her finger and saying 'I told you that one day you'd be saying the same thing!'. I hate it when she is right.

I am not claiming to be some wise Yoda figure here (although I do think I may have Yodas actual figure), I am just sharing some thoughts and observations!

:: No amount of worrying will magically change a situation 
S**t happens. If you can do something to make it better or to change it then do it. If it is out of your control, no amount of fretting will change it. Don't miss the now because you are elsewhere in your mind. Now, please don't get me wrong here, this point is something I am very much working on as I am a huge worrier, but it is getting easier. Slowly but surely. Just try not to worry (as much).

:: Screw popular opinion and wear what you want!
This is something I have probably wasted half my life worrying about. As a teen I used to admire the girls that were wearing the clothes in the window of New Look, or whatever shop was fashionable at the time! I was so busy worrying about what other people would think that I lost the sense of who I wanted to be. These days I am most commonly found in jeans and a baggy t-shirt but so what? If I want to throw on a hoodie and joggers and pop to the supermarket for milk who actually cares? Find you in your clothes and embrace it.

:: Nesting, early nights and hot drinks rock!
In my 20's I was always dreaming about going out to different places every night but these days I am a content little bean (?!) just pottering about at home, making our living space nice, cooking lovely food to eat and snuggling up with tea and my man. There is something about feeling safe and secure in your life that changes everything around. This also means that when an opportunity does come along to have a bit of a 'wild one' that it is thoroughly appreciated. Definition of 'wild one': a couple of friends over, a couple of whiskies and a board game - woo-hoo!

:: Materialism is not life
I like things, I do, but events over the last few years have made me reassess. I recently asked myself (not out loud, just in-case you wondered) what I will look back on in my life and remember. Let me tell you that the first thing in my mind was not the new top I bought or the stupid amount of mascaras I own. My thoughts were about things I had done with the people I love; adventures, trips, evenings of laughing with friends, family birthdays etc. Spend more time outside. Collect moments, not things.

:: It's alright to not be alright
This is something I have learnt recently. It is okay to have emotional moments. It is okay to reach out and ask for help. Just do it. You are the most important person in your life.

:: Try faking it
(not that kind of faking it - stop it!)
Nobody is perfect. Fact. We all have bad days, we all feel like getting back into bed and staying put sometimes. The difference, for me anyway, between my 20's and 30's is how I manage myself when I am in the middle of my black cloud. In my 20's I would have stayed in bed, called in sick and created a cycle of destruction. Now I get up with my alarm, shower, put on my make-up, brush my hair and drive to work with some uplifting music on or a positive audiobook for company. If that doesn't do the trick I will put a smile on my miserable face until I have fooled myself happy. Try it, it works.

What do you do differently now to when you were younger? Let me know in the comments!


  1. I am a huge advocate of fake it til you make it whether professionally or emotionally- not the other though, if you're faking that you're in trouble. Not 'you', I mean 'one'. This is getting worse by the bloody minute.
    So yeah, fake it.
    And I am constantly asking myself stuff out loud, is that frowned upon??
    M x

    1. Ha ha! Always love your responses :-)
      I think if it is frowned upon to talk to yourself (ones self?!) then I am up you know-whats-creek without a bloody paddle! x


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